Your territory has just been realigned for the third time. The new bonus structure makes it next to impossible to meet your goals. The number of "no see" doctors has run amok. Your new district manager is a tyrant. Your spirits are down, and a little voice in your head keeps screaming, "My life is a mess, but it's not my fault!"

The truth is, as upsetting as these situations are, you have more control than you may think. Those who succumb to a victim mentality not only get caught in the rut of self-pity; they ultimately give up control over their destiny.

Hopeless? No way!

It was years ago, at a large sales meeting, that I was introduced to the concept of 100% responsibility. The speaker started off by asking those of us who were married, "In your marriage, what percentage of the relationship are you responsible for?"

As you might imagine, many people called out, "50%." Some sheepishly confessed, "30%." To our surprise, the speaker told us we were all wrong. It was his contention that each of us was 100% responsible for our marriage — and for that matter, all of our relationships.

He went on to ask if we had ever been running late for an appointment and gotten angry with the elderly person in front of us who was driving 20 miles an hour below the speed limit. We nodded unanimously. Quite smugly, he pointed out that traffic problems and poor drivers are a given. If we wanted to make sure we were on time for the appointment, we should have left 10 minutes earlier. By taking 100% responsibility, we would leave no room to blame anyone else.

At first blush, you might think you're already taking enough responsibility, thank you. However, by switching your mindset from that of a victim to that of the person in control, you will immediately look at challenges in a fresh, new way. The concept of 100% responsibility, when fully embraced, can actually be quite freeing.

Frustrating situations

Let's start with the issue of a territory realignment. Frustrating maybe, but hopeless – no way. Draw on your previous experience. What were some of the mistakes you made in the past, and what were the successes? Now apply those lessons to your new offices or hospitals. Speak with the representative who worked your ZIP codes in the past. Gain insight, but don't get discouraged by obstacles encountered before you came along.

If your bonus structure has changed, spend the time you might otherwise have spent in a group-gripe with fellow reps looking at opportunities to make it work instead. If there are new product priorities, don't dwell on the past. Come up with a plan of action to target those areas and physicians that can have the greatest impact on your numbers.

Your district manager can be your greatest ally, because your success is his success. Even if you are reporting to someone whose style is not the same as your own, look for ways you can compliment one another. For example, you may approach people with a chatty, friendly style. If you have a manager who is very direct and to the point, try getting coaching on how you can adjust your style for customers who also tend to be abrupt and concise. Not only will you learn how to interact more effectively with people whose personalities differ from yours, but you will also make your manager feel appreciated in the process.

Typically, anyone promoted to a managerial role has consistently delivered. Despite your differences, it is your responsibility to learn from — and respect — the skills and success that got this person promoted in the first place. It is 100% your responsibility to make the relationship work – not the other way around.

Who do you admire, respect and want to be in the company of more, the complainer or the doer? It's an interesting phenomenon: Those who approach life with a no-excuses, "can do" attitude are the ones who often get the most support. Ask yourself, "In what areas can I start taking 100% responsibility where I haven't before?" Choose one or two of those areas that impact your life the most. Shed your veil of helplessness and regain control. Guaranteed – the possibilities are endless.