Diagnosis
Difficult people are preventing you from doing your best.

Prescription
Understanding and sympathy are the best treatments.

Have you ever walked into one of your favorite offices and had the doctor snap, "I don't have time for you right now," as he scowled and shoved past you? When this happens, it's easy to be caught like a deer in the headlights. Was it something you did? Is something going on with the doctor? The fact is, you just don't know. And while some customers always seem to be difficult to deal with, even our favorite ones can have bad days. No matter who you are dealing with, it only requires three steps to make things right ...

Step one: Understand human nature

The first step to properly dealing with difficult people starts before you walk out your front door: You must understand human nature. For many, this can be difficult, but it is actually fairly simple – it starts by putting yourself in other peoples' shoes. This is also known as sympathizing.

We must first accept that most people are doing the best they can with their personal situations, patients, staff, finances and everything else. Keep things in perspective by reminding yourself that when you are dealing with someone difficult, you're not dealing with a bad person – you're dealing with a good person having a bad day. Perhaps that surly doctor is going through something hard at home, or that rude nurse just found out some troubling health news. If the person is consistently difficult, perhaps she has a tyrannical boss or a chronic condition of some sort. You are rarely the cause of their problems, but unfortunately you receive some of the fallout.

Early in my career, I used to get rattled by difficult people. I remember walking into an office one day and the receptionist glared at me and said, "The doctor doesn't want any of your samples." I hadn't even said hello! I stopped dead in my tracks, with no idea what to say. Since she couldn't even have known what samples I was carrying, how did she know the doctor didn't want any? How could she be so rude?! Being inexperienced, I said, "O-o-o-okay," turned around and left. For days I thought about what a jerk she had been, and for months I cringed whenever I had to go into that office. But I later learned she had been dealing with some serious personal issues. I felt silly for letting it get to me, and I immediately became more tolerant and understanding.

When we encounter a difficult person, we generally don't feel stress from the situation itself; but rather, stress comes from not knowing why something happened or what we could have done about it. If you don't know why it is you were treated poorly, try to imagine a reason or scenario that lets the other person off the hook and you'll be more likely to let the situation go and less likely to let it get to you.